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| DADDYLAND by Amber Weigand-Buckley Author: Andrew Stenhouse
A few weeks ago after I picked them up from their mom’s, we were walking back to the car making the normal adjustment from one home to another, when I remarked how quickly they were growing up. “When did you two become such little ladies?” “Dad, I’m 14.” Taryn rolled her eyes. “Well, where have I been?” trying to expedite the adjustment that wasn’t quite there yet. She smiled as she poked fun. “You’ve been in Daddyland.” We all laughed (the adjustment had been quick). As we climbed into the Jeep, we joked about Daddyland and tried to decide what and where Daddyland actually is. We decided that Daddyland, a little like Neverland, is a land where dads want time to stand still. It’s a land where dads visit as often as possible in order to hold on to their children, especially when their children are away. It’s a land built entirely on memories. For some fathers Daddyland is a sparse place, nearly vacant; not many memories, not much to hold onto. For other dad’s though, wow! What a grand place it is, full of wonderful memories. For these dads, Daddyland is always in a huge building program as it becomes grander every day. Construction never ends for these dads. I want to be one of these dads. This New Year’s, among the other resolutions like lose weight, read the Old Testament, and enroll in a class, I plan to build up Daddyland by creating lasting memories out of adventures and traditions. Adventure (ad-ven-cher \ n) a remarkable and exciting experience. Adventures are new experiences that can occur throughout the year. While they can be big adventures like amusement parks and vacation getaways, little adventures like a family night out or an impromptu picnic at the park or beach can be just as meaningful. Simple things mean so much when they are new experiences, and since time together is the real value, experiencing something new with loved ones is a remarkable memory that is rarely forgotten. What the adventure is isn’t nearly as important as who the adventure is with. These adventures often end up becoming traditions. For example, a great day on Catalina Island, which started out as big adventure, can become an annual retreat, a big tradition. Traditions, particularly important for single-parent families, provide stability and continuity to a life of constant change. Tradition (tre-dish-en \ n) an inherited, or passed down, custom. While big traditions like Catalina are usually seasonal ones, small traditions, like Friday nights, occur more regularly. My daughters and I begin each weekend with dinner at Boudin’s followed by a walk through Barnes & Noble with Starbuck’s Coffee and Hot Chocolate. We can spend hours in the bookstore and rarely leave empty handed. It’s our Friday night ritual. It’s our tradition. Just the other day as I was paying bills and the girls where away at their mom’s, I discovered an old receipt for Noel Streatfield’s Ballet Shoes that was crammed in the back of my desk drawer. I smiled as I recalled three years of Friday night memories, smelling the nostalgia of coffee, hot chocolate, and books. I stared at the receipt and thought, “I need to keep this in a safe place. It’s a ticket to Daddyland.” This New Year’s, Remember:
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For single parents, time is more carefully scrutinized around New Years. I tend to notice it more, how quickly it goes, and how little of it I actually have left to spend with my kids. I don’t want to miss a single day with them. While I am fortunate to see my daughters nearly every day, there are times when it seems like an eternity since I was last with them.
