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| An Open Letter to My Son… by David Welday My middle son, Darren, turned 21 last week. So we did the typical Welday birthday tradition of bringing him Dunkin Donuts to eat in bed the morning of his birthday as we all gathered around. We have this goofy birthday song that has his name in it (it’s so old, it’s on cassette), and we play that tape as we come in with donuts, milk and candles! But in addition to presents and well wishes, I wanted to say something to Darren that would hopefully be more meaningful and from my heart. I decided to share part of the letter with you here. Dear Darren, Well, it’s your 21st birthday, a great milestone! The world says you are now officially an adult, a man. You can drink and drive (just not at the same time), vote, go to war, earn a living, raise a family. Congratulations. As your father, I am so proud of you. From all that I observe, you are conducting yourself with honor and representing with distinction both the Welday name and the name of Christ. I tried to think of some helpful or insightful words I could offer you that would be meaningful. Being a real man is so much more than being able to reproduce, vote or drink. Being a man is about embracing the purpose that God has for your life; it’s about accepting the responsibility of allowing His Spirit to operate fully inside you, guiding and directing you in the way you are called to go. When you hear the phrase “Man up,” that speaks about accepting the challenge, the responsibility of manhood. The apostle Paul put it this way, “When I became a man, I put away childish things…” Interestingly, that Scripture comes from 1 Corinthians 13, the “love chapter,” where love is so eloquently defined. In other words, part of being a man is about embracing the ability to love the way God intends--selflessly, courageously, uncompromisingly. Not quite how the culture would define manhood, is it? As you mature, you will see more and more how the values and principles you stand for are in conflict with the culture in which you live. The solution, in my opinion, is not to run and hide, but rather to let your light shine, Darren. Burn brightly for Jesus! Live boldly, nobly, and be willing to stand out…and stand up for the Truth. I took the opportunity to look back on the words that I shared with you when we marked the season in your life when you became a man. Remember that ceremony we had for you up in the woods of Maine? As I reread the words I gave to you then, I found them still to be true and worthy of remembering. So I’ve added them here in this letter… 1. The honor of your word – As a man of God, understand that your words are powerful. By the very word of God, worlds were created, life was called into existence. So too, the man of God understands that life and death are in the power of the tongue. By words you can bless men, create hope, inspire vision, and by your words, you can instill fear, doubt and pain. As a man of God you must watch your words. Keep your word and fill your heart with God’s Word and His promises so that your words become a reflection of God’s words. Only speak blessing on those you want to bless. Careless put-downs can become a curse. Avoid conversation that leads to hurting others. Don’t say things you don’t mean. If you say you will do something, then do it when and how you say. Use your words to empower others. Be quick with a compliment and a word of kindness. 2. The creative power of vision – As a man of God, know that you can see not merely with your eyes, but God has given you a mind with which to dream and a heart with which to believe. The man of God is a dreamer and a believer. He sees possibilities when others do not. He looks for solutions when others look for excuses. He finds opportunities to bless and to prosper when others see only difficulties and dead ends. As a man of God, you are empowered by the Creator of the universe. The vast creativity that made starfish and trees, seasons and snowflakes resides in you. You are called to dream, to believe, to create in your mind. You are given the will, the courage and the strength to act on the vision God has given you. Always look for an answer when you run into a problem. There are no dead ends in God. He is creative and will give you a way out. Think big! When others are willing to settle for second best or for average, dream! Believe! Think of what is possible, and do it. 3. Strength through submission – As a man of God, know that you are not the master of your own destiny, but you are created by God to accomplish the purpose and pleasure of the One who created you. You must live your life not according to your own desires, but according to the good plans that God has created for you. You can walk with confidence knowing that God is on your side and desires to bless you when you live your life in obedience to Him and submit your own natural desires to God first. In everything, ask God what His desire and intent are for you. Recognize that all your strength, success and authority come from God. When you trust in your own strength, ultimately, you will fail. When you trust in Him, you will succeed. 4. The power of forgiveness – As a man of God, be quick to forgive others, knowing that you have been forgiven completely. “Christ died for your sins” is a simple, but life-changing, truth that has marked your life forever. Without the forgiveness of sins, you were locked in death. But now, having tasted the freedom of forgiveness through Jesus Christ, which allows you to stand clean before God, be quick to forgive others by the Spirit of God. As a man of God, you must accept God’s forgiveness in every area of your own life. The devil wants to keep you paralyzed in guilt and shame for what you have done or not done. But Jesus Christ proclaims liberty and freedom to you through the forgiveness of your sins, which He paid for on the cross. So walk as a clean, forgiven man that is acceptable to God and proclaim that forgiveness freely to all men. Don’t get stuck in self-pity and guilt. Be quick to ask God’s forgiveness when you fail, and know that Jesus has made complete forgiveness available to you. Be quick to forgive others when they fail. Don’t hold a grudge or an offense, knowing that you, too, have been forgiven. 5. The importance of praise – As a man of God, always keep an “attitude of gratitude.” Be thankful to God for His rich blessings on your life, His power working through your life, His very presence in your life and His wonderful purpose for your life. One of the most notable figures in the Bible was named David. King David defeated Goliath, ruled the Israelites for decades and built an empire. Yet his most worthy accomplishment was that he was known as “a man after God’s own heart.” Why? Was David more perfect or more holy than other men of God? Certainly not. But David loved to praise the Lord and worship the most high God. He was extravagant in his devotion to, fear of and praise of his loving Lord. As a man of God, you, too, must be quick to praise the Lord in every situation. Look for God’s hand in your circumstances and know that no matter what happens to you, He is the Lord God almighty and worthy to be praised! Make it your practice to spend time with the Lord daily and get to know Him intimately. Through your growing relationship with God, become a spontaneous and eager praiser. Determine to praise the Lord in every situation, knowing that even difficult times (and sometimes especially difficult times) God uses for your good. Encourage others to praise the Lord in all things. Don’t get sucked in to negative talk by your friends and coworkers. Be the first one to give thanks in every situation. 6. The wonder of true, godly love – As a man of God who himself has been saved by the love of God, changed by the love of God and known by the love of God, you must be quick to give God’s perfect love away to others. People all around you are starving for love, and many have never been unconditionally loved before. You are called to love all men and be a living example of God’s love by how you live your life and how you love others. Most people use the word “love” to mean “give me what makes me feel good.” But true godly love is not a feeling. It’s a choice, a commitment to put someone else’s life ahead of yours. That’s what Jesus did for you, and that’s what He asks you to do for others. True love, agape love, changes people’s lives. It gives them hope and faith. Be a lover, Darren. First love God, then freely give that love to others as the Holy Spirit leads you. Be willing to put others first. Ask the question, “How can I love this person as God does?” Be careful not to confuse true godly love with a selfish love or lust or sensual desire that may satisfy for a season but that does not truly give life. When the time comes, the Holy Spirit will help you discern between the true godly love that He has prepared for you to honor and satisfy your soul all your days, and your own natural desires, which offer only temporal gratification. 7. The call to teach others – As a man of God, you are charged with the responsibility of not only receiving instruction from God and from others, but you are to pass on to others what you know, especially those who are younger or less mature than you. God’s purposes span from generation to generation. God is looking for men like you who will not only be good learners, but be willing to be good teachers as well. As you grow, be sensitive to how God wants to use you to help and teach others. How can you pass on the living faith and godly wisdom you have to others? What God is teaching you is meant to be shared with others. Ask God to show you how you can help your brothers become men of God, your friends, too. In school and in your work, ask Him to lead you to other people whose hearts He has prepared so they will receive instruction and counsel from you. Remember that people are always watching you. So decide to live your life in a way that will be a godly example to them. Bottom line, Darren, know that your mother and I are so proud of you. We are confident that you are listening to the Holy Spirit, leaning into the breast of Jesus in surrender and submission, serving Him with boldness and compassion, allowing the grace of God, the mercy of God, the forgiveness of God and the authority of God to define you, shape you and continue to mold you into the man you are destined to be. We celebrate with you this milestone 21st birthday. With all my love, Dad| Top | Share Your Thoughts... Be the first to comment on this article! |
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