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| Teaching Truths to Our Children by Shelby Rawson
For the last several years, cartoons have been intermingled with “positive” messages directed at children. Quite often when I’ve seen these advertisements, there is a well-known actor or actress delivering a statement about accepting others, tolerating certain things, staying in school, etc. This day, I was particularly struck by the statement that emerged from the captivating lips of the actress. “Everyone is born with one true love – you. And if you like you, everyone else will, too.” She looked so beautiful and convincing as she said it. What kid wouldn’t believe her? If I like me, other people will, too. It sounds like such an empowering message to send to America’s children … Doesn’t it? Does it? I’ve gotta tell you my gut-level response. I was not encouraged. If anything, I was a bit outraged. I believe my exact words were, “W-w-what?! That is NOT true.” It is absolutely untrue and unjust to tell our children if they like themselves, then other people will as well. Think about it for a minute. As an adult, does everyone like you? If you answered no, does that mean you must not like yourself? I would venture to say some of the dots I am drawing are beginning to connect for you. I will do my children a great disservice if I send them into a world with the hope that it is possible for everyone to like them. The truth of this world is that some people just don’t like you – without putting reason into practice. There are some people in this world who will not like your daughter because they want what she has. Some boys may not play with your son because they find him intimidating. That is the ugly, cold reality of a fallen world. Despite the ugliness in this world, I want my kids to be as ready to face it as possible. That means refusing to lie to them about the people they may be faced with as they enter social settings. What my husband and I have done is tell our child to speak up when someone is not being kind to her and let her know she has the freedom to walk away. My daughter already knows people may not be kind to her even though she has done nothing wrong. She knows that it doesn’t always matter how kind she is when there are those out there who seem to be determined not to like others. As mommies and daddies, we can instill oodles of confidence and love in our children. We can teach them to be considerate of others, follow the Golden Rule and treat others how they would like to be treated. Nonetheless, we cannot be there to teach everyone. Some people never learn those things. Some children are not raised in homes with moms and dads who intentionally teach them or purposefully love them. There are little people out there whose parents’ only physical touch came in the way of a fist. The only words they heard were barked at them in rage. How can I expect those kids to know they are supposed to be kind to my little ones? And how can I tell my little brood if they like themselves, then everybody else – including those around them who have been so deeply wounded by those closest to them they barely have a concept of kindness – will, too? What I will do is teach my family about truth. If we teach our families the only perfect love in this world is not of this world, then we can begin to prepare them to face the challenges of each day. How can we as parents arm our kids as they walk into this world – into school – equipped? I believe we have to be honest about what they may encounter and first prime ourselves. Learn the truths of God, and cling to them. God is pretty darn clear when He tells us to get ready for battle every day (Romans 6:10-18). Good is not all that roams this earth. A crafty, cunning serpent who was once cast out of heaven wants not only our hearts and souls, but our children’s as well. Satan is a snake, and he will do whatever he can to get to our kids – including using very nice, positive-sounding words of wisdom. He wants us to believe if something sounds positive, it can’t be harmful. I, for one, am glad to know a God who is smarter and more powerful than a slithering belly-slider. My God may not keep my sweet babes from experiencing pain in this world. He may not keep mean people away from them. He may even allow them to be hurt by those pretending to be their friends. Yet, I know that if my children are confident of their place and identity with Him, they will always have a hand to hold and a place to rest as they journey in this life. Shelby Rawson is a writer, co-author of Daddy, Do You Love Me? A Daughter’s Journey of Faith and Restoration, and the mother of two young children. How do you effectively teach your child to be kind to others? | Top | Share Your Thoughts... Be the first to comment on this article! |
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So, it was a typical Saturday morning in my house. Breakfast had been eaten, and dishes were still waiting for me in the sink. Miraculously, a load of laundry had already made its way into the washer. Daddy and son were playing dinosaurs and trucks. And I was copping a squat in my jammies to watch the Saturday morning funnies with my 3 1/2-year-old daughter. 
